GCC: We first met Bob and family at an expensive import coffee shop (aka Starbucks) in Osaka, Japan, where we enjoyed some tasty treats as a globetrotting respite. So clearly this was after they had found balance and inner peace :) Check out this personal story from the trenches of hard saving, and the important reminder to enjoy the journey.
Lately, Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE) is getting a lot of attention. The concept is literally spreading like a wild fire as more main stream medias are publishing FIRE related stories. This is certainly true for Jeremy and Winnie, as their story has appeared on many different media outlets.
The core concept of FIRE is simple – Increase your savings rate by decreasing expenses and increasing income. Invest the savings in appreciating assets. Once these assets produce sufficient passive income to cover your expenses, you are financially independent. You can retire early if you choose.
Although my dad retired from full time work when he was 43, my wife and I didn’t fully grasp the key benefits of financial independence (FI) until 2010. After reading many personal finance and investing books and blogs, we began to take charge of our own finances. We simplified our investments and learned to take advantage of the tax-free and tax-deferred accounts.
We are now 8 years into our own FIRE journey. Thanks to our passive income streams, various side hustles, and our house in the hot metro Vancouver housing market, we can be financially independent today if we choose to. We also feel blessed that we could retire today if we wished to. But we realized that we have more to do than just be ready financially.
When we first started our FIRE journey, I wanted to cross the finish line as quickly as we possibly could. I spent a lot of time looking at our budget system and evaluating which expenses we could eliminate. I had the idea of spending as little money as possible, so we could invest more money and build our asset empire quickly.
I began to develop the save, save, and save some more mentality.
As my desire to reach FIRE as quickly as possible got stronger I began to question all of our household spendings. At first, my wife and I were on board with the idea. We started feeling guilty for spending money on treats like chocolates, coffees, pastries, sushi, and other “treat-your-self” expenses.
The finer things
Unfortunately, it was not a healthy practice. Over time, we began to feel that we were not enjoying our lives. We were having arguments often on these small expenses and ridicule each other for spending money on unnecessary things.
At one point, I felt that my wife and I were drifting apart because we didn’t see eye to eye financially.
I knew we had to fix this quick. I didn’t want to be financially independent without my wife.
After a bit of soul searching and reflecting, I began to realize that FIRE isn’t as simple as crossing a finish line. I was looking at FIRE the wrong way. I was rushing to get to the FIRE status at the expense of my relationship with my wife. She was holding a grudge against me because we couldn’t agree on how to spend money, or rather how to save as much as possible. I also realized that life does not change suddenly after we reach FIRE. Life continues the same way regardless of us having reached FIRE or not. Rather than focusing on the FIRE journey alone, I realized that I needed to focus more on my life journey with my wife and our kids since they are the most important part of my journey.
I had realized the importance of finding the right personal balance between spending money now to enjoy the present moment and saving money for the future.
Spending money does not always mean bad. Spending money is a natural process in life. It’s OK to spend money on things that are important to you.
It comes down to prioritization.
If you prioritize travel in life, spend your money on travel and get that incredible experience. If you prioritize outdoor adventure in life, spend your money on outdoor gear and outdoor trips. If you prioritize good food in life, spend your money on quality ingredients and cookware so you can prepare your own meals. If you prioritize experience in life, spend your money on those experiences instead of things.
Today my wife, our kids, and I enjoy going out to a cafe to enjoy latte, hot chocolate, and some pastry treats occasionally. Yes, we spend money, but we get to spend quality time together and enjoy each other’s company. We also get to build stronger relationships.
We also spend money on travels. Because we get to create unforgettable memories and we get to explore new cultures, new foods, and new cities.
Along our FIRE journey, my wife and I have also learned the importance of personal development.
For example, I am by no means the perfect person and there are many things I can work on to improve myself. I read self-improvement books to learn to control my temper, manners, and develop the ways I interact with other people. I am practicing gratitude every day, I am spending quality time with the important people in my life, I am learning to be attentive and be present, I am learning to accept ideas and other people. I am not striving to become perfect (nobody is perfect anyways), but each day I am working on becoming a better version of myself than the day before.
I have learned to get involved in my community to help others in need. My wife and I have provided helping hands by volunteering and donating money. For the past few years, we have sponsored single-mom families for Christmas by buying food for the family and gifts for the kids. We also got our young kids involved so they could learn the importance of giving back to the community.
Today, we have decided that we are not in a rush to reach the FIRE financial milestone. We are prolonging our financial independence journey by choice. Whether we reach FIRE today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now, I am not too concerned about the timeline. I am content where I am in life. I know we will reach FIRE one day, it is simply a matter of time. And when that time comes, we will be ready!
Enjoy the journey
Appreciate this post! It is so true- I’ve never seen a bank truck or a U-Haul trailer being towed behind a hearse. There is a fine line between not spending at all and spending too much, and that line is unique to every person and family. Honestly, when I started a journey toward FIRE after reading GCC and MMM some years ago, I was both feeling guilty for starting late (I’m 45) and envious for not having graduated without debt, lived in a better city for real estate gains or starting my career in a lucrative tech job (I spent many years as an enlisted sericeman making less than 30,000 a year from 18-35. However, as I watch my daughter grow (she is almost six and is my camping and hiking companion), I hav eximento realize that money is just a vehicle to get you where you need to go. So, spend it if you desire. Moreover, it is the journey, not the destination, that brings one joy in life. At this point, I don’t think I’ll meet FIRE goals before I age out of the workforce. However, this journey has forced me to start looking for hustles and scenarios that are far more enjoyable than droning off to the office every day. Bravo for this post, to be fair, it has gone a long way to reduce one reader’s (ok, mine, I admit) guilt, anger and jealousy regarding FIRE. Peace!
Hi Bee Gee,
Thank you, glad you enjoyed the article. I don’t agree that there’s a label as “starting late.” It’s never too late to get your finances in check and work toward FIRE. And it’s a great idea to pass the FIRE concept to your kids. :)
I agree that it’s never too late. It took me years to clean up my financial act. I started saving $25 bucks every 2 weeks and worked my way up over about 5-6 years of over $1k per month. Keep going. Never. Give. Up. And please remember its not just about the destination. Enjoy the journey.
Thanks,
Miriam
You know what they say – Happy wife, happy life. We all have to figure out our own personal path to financial independence. It sounds like you’ve got the right attitude now and it should be smooth sailing. Great job!
I’m pretty lucky on my journey. My wife is still working and she can buy what she wants. However, she’s naturally frugal so we don’t have any money argument. Life is good.
Hi Joe,
Happy wife, happy life for sure! :)
Having the right attitude definitely goes a long way.
Hi Bob (clicked on one of the links and realized the guest poster was Bob from Tawcan.com blog, which I read) – totally agree. And I’m dealing with the same issues.
I’ve begin to realize that much of my FIRE journey was driven by fear. 2008 Global Financial Crisis; being beholden to an employer in Shanghai to be with my Chinese citizen GF and now wife; being an immigrant in the U.S.
Now I am struggling with shifting my mentality to that of hope – hope of human flourishing for me and my family. This should make the journey more joyful.
Thanks Adrian for reading my blog. :)
Unfortunately a lot of FIRE journeys are started because of fear. Need to shift that mentality for sure.
This message can’t be preached enough.
The FIRE movement is so important for teaching everyone – that through taking individual responsibility & applying basic concepts and principles, they can achieve a level of independence no one told them about.
The FIRE movement is not so important that it degrades the quality of your daily life – that’s counterproductive. This balance, albeit in is something not enough folks spend time discuss.
Life is short, you’re young only once, and learning what this spend now/save now balance is for yourself is probably the hardest part of it all!
Quality of life is very important. If you’re depriving yourself for the sake of getting to FIRE earlier and end up missing all these once-in-a-lifetime experiences, is it worth it? Life is too short to live on constant regrets.
I too have learned it’s not about deprivation, but moderation. I want you to save, but also to have a life. Budget for what you want and it gives you the freedom to spend.
Thanks,
Miriam
“I am content where I am in life” – This totally resonated with me Tawcan. Thanks for writing this great article.
My wife and I are avid travelers who “accidentally” discovered FI/RE after looking at “the cost of a year of travel”. We decided to pull the trigger and make the world our home by becoming nomadic travelers in 2018. We’ve been on this “journey” for less than a year but I can tell that this has been the best decision we’ve made. While we were already FI before we left (which some could argue can help reducing the risk to take on such a lifestyle change), we decided to focus on what matter to us and do it now rather than later.
I like to tell people that they should not dream their life but rather live their dreams, because – as you said – life is too short to live on constant regrets! Wishing you and your family to keep getting involved into what you care about and enjoy the journey!
You’re very welcome, glad that this message resonated well with you.
That’s really cool you’ve become nomadic travelers in 2018, just like what Jeremy and Winnie are doing.
Love this post. I felt like I was reading my own story. It took about 15 years into my career before I stumbled onto the FIRE concept. Three years later, it remains a struggle for my wife and I to find a happy medium between her desire to live for the moment and my desire to plan for the future. One area where we agree is that we prioritize family travel. We set aside a substantial amount each year in our budget for travel and are getting better each year at travel hacking.
Thanks for this post. It’s always good to have a reminder to take a deep breath, step back, and enjoy the wonderful life we have today which is something I often forget to do while in the middle of the pursuit of FI.
Hi BML,
Thank you very much. It’s important to find the happy medium for sure. Family travels create a lot of great memories and experiences that you will never forget, they are worth spending.
Thanks for sharing Bob. As someone who has always been crazy about setting goals and meeting them as soon as I possibly can, I can identify with your desire to hit FIRE ASAP. I am fortunate enough to be there and I remember the unexamined assumption I had that once I got there something would be different. Of course some things can be different but only if you claim the independence and other things are very much not different no matter how much finances change. In fact, posts 3-5 of my own blog came from my own journals as I looked at those around me and researched money and its relationship to happiness. I echo the theme of the other commenters about the importance of partnership with one’s spouse in designing a lifestyle that works for both while still maintaining a space for the relationship to thrive even if you have some differing goals or approaches in the near term. It’s something that I plan to focus on more myself and I thank you for your story. Rather than hit goals, living the journey with the best version of you as a person and you as a couple sounds like a journey worth spending time on.
It’s important to work with your partner and create and design a lifestyle that will work for the both of you while continue your FIRE journey. :)