“You’re going to Guatemala?! You need to be careful. Don’t show anybody your iPhone. Don’t carry much money. It’s dangerous there, they will kill you for your shoes!”
My friend Jake was en route to Guatemala to visit us last weekend, and this bit of sensationalist drama was courtesy of the United Airlines employee that he was sitting next to on the first leg of his trip. It is always nice when you can sit next to a knowledgeable person on your travels. Clearly he wasn’t in the sales department.
During his layover, Jake texted me to get my view of things. “Is it dangerous? How has your trip been so far? Should I still come?”
My reply? “You’re damn right it’s dangerous! Dangerously awesome! See you in a few hours”
Let’s be serious for a moment. Jake has nice shoes. But would anybody really kill him for them? Why does this well-intentioned person feel so strongly about the people of Guatemala that the topics of murder and footwear end up in the same sentence?
The United employee isn’t a member of the police or even the fire department, but the word of a man in uniform isn’t to be taken lightly. We were also cautioned by several people in Mexico about how dangerous Guatemala is. It made me really start to question my view of the world. Could the people of Guatemala really be dangerous? Were my wife in I in constant danger, and we had just been lucky so far?
Perhaps this United Airlines representative had an abundance of first person experience that I didn’t. Maybe he has seen the dark underbelly of this beautiful country, while we had only seen the thin surface that the marketing department of the Board of Tourism had wanted us to see. I began to keep a watchful eye on the people that we came in contact with
For example, Maria. Maria is an entrepreneur and runs a successful family business. Her four daughters and many of her grandchildren also take part. When we went to visit her, I tied my shoes extra tight so they wouldn’t come off without serious effort. She seemed warm and friendly, but I made sure I always had a clear path to the door.
Maria (photo courtesy of Jessica Wilding)
In Panajachel, this guy was helping coordinate rides with tuk tuk drivers. He almost insisted we take his photo, probably to distract us while his friends jumped us. He even tried to make small talk. Seriously, how dumb does he think I am? When I told him we lived in the US, his face turned grave and he asked, “Is it true that people would kill me there for the gold in my teeth?”
“Maybe. If not for your teeth, then for your name brand polo shirt.” I had to let him know that we weren’t easy targets, and that comment must have caught him off guard because we were able to get in a tuk tuk without incident.
Nice Guy. Nice Teeth.
Boarding a boat to another town on Lake Atitlan, we met Sansa. She was traveling to neighboring towns to sell her home baked goods and some cheap plastic earrings. I lent her my arm as she was boarding the boat, because at her age she doesn’t move with ease. I was careful though, better that I let her fall than have her take my kindness as a sign of weakness.
Winnie spoke a little of the local Tz’utujil language to her. “Utz aawach?” she said. “Como estas?” “How are you?”
Sansa
Sansa insisted that Winnie sit next to her. “We will practice together”, she said, and proceeded to teach Winnie some other common Tz’utujil phrases. I kept my eye on her the whole time.
These people were all quick to share a smile and a kind word, and offered us assistance in getting where we were going. I think this may have been part of their plan to find out where we would be later, so they could catch us unaware.
We have also encountered a few of the more seedy types. For example, the fruit lady. She walks about the town carrying a giant basket on her head, full of fruit for sale. She could easily hide a weapon and ill-gotten shoes underneath a few bananas.
The Fruit Lady. What Is Hidden Under Those Bananas?
Or these unsavory types. They even have their own get away vehicles
Conversing Privately, Obviously Plotting Devious Deeds
And most dangerous of all, the children. Nobody would ever suspect a roaming gang of little people, but we know the truth that is masked by their seemingly innocent faces.
Run! They Are Coming for Our Shoes!
With the gods smiling upon us, and my constant diligence, we somehow made it through the weekend of Jake’s visit without incident. We visited numerous bars and restaurants, walked the streets and back alleys of San Pedro and Panajachel, toured the local market, and rode an epic 1 km long zipline through the jungle. Since we didn’t go anywhere that a shoe bandit might think to find a tourist, we were able to escape the worst.
Jake is now back in LA, shoes safely on his feet, but we are still at risk. They kill people for their shoes, and we could be next…
This is simply roll on the floor laughing brilliant!
I’m gonna have to figure an excuse to link to it one day.
Cheers,
….and sleep with your shoes on.
Thanks Jim!
I may go bare foot from here on out
That’s just silly, everyone knows americanos have stinky feet.
Thou art truly wise
Perhaps the message was mangled in delivery. Perhaps he meant “their shoes will kill you!” Luckily, you did not try any of their nefarious footwear.
Funny thing, one of the popular trade items here is hand made shoes. For about $20, they will measure your feet and 2 days later you have custom shoes
…which then they will promptly kill you for and steal.
It’s a highly organized and efficient operation
The murder rate in Guatemala IS high, 38.5 per 100,000 population, compared to 4.8 for the USA. On the other hand, it is 0.4 in Japan. I’d take my chances. Looks like most people there, judging by your photos, are kind and friendly.
Hi Kenneth, thanks for commenting
“I’d take my chances” is the key, I think. We can do our best to understand the risks, and then decide if we want to stay at home
My personal risk of murder (in Guatemala or any country) is most certainly much lower than the published data, as I follow my own “Don’t be stupid” guidelines: Don’t sell drugs, don’t pay for sex, and don’t borrow money from the mafia
If we can continue to avoid those 3 practices, I think we’ll be in good shape
Business model of the most powerful companies in a nutshell right there.
If I ever find myself in Guatemala, I’ll be sure to wear sandals.
With the weather in Guatemala, there really is no better footwear
Reminds me of that classic Kids in The Hall sketch, where the day laborer waits at the corner every day waiting for someone to offer him some work. He keeps admiring this nice pair of work boots in the storefront window there. Days go by, nobody offers him work. Finally he spends presumably his last few dollars on the boots, hoping that will change his fortunes. Lo and behold, a pickup truck stops and he hops on! A few hours later, he finds himself abandoned in a field, dazed and bootless. When he returns to the corner, his boots are once again on display in the window.
haha, I remember that skit. Great show!
HA! They-will-kill-you-for-your-shoes. Ain’t that the truth! We get the same comments and questions from Canadians & Americans. The Americans are more fearful and a few seem to really hate Mexicans. Sorry guys, but I’m speaking from my experiences.
I suspect (insert conspiracy theory here) That this is an effort by both the Canadian & American governments to keep Canadian & American dollars in their own countries. Both countries are constantly giving Mexico a “black eye”. People are relatively the same everywhere. Sure there are cultural differences but for the most part we all share the same loves, dislikes and fears. This charade is all about money and control. Control by fear.
I am a Canadian currently living in Mexico.
I have a friend who travels to Vietnam frequently. Her husband works there.
When she goes to Vietnam she gets the most awesome sandals custom made for $US10. She has them in a rainbow of colors.
I’m guessing this is part of the notorious Vietnamese plan to get people to travel there and spend money.
I’ve always wanted to get a set of ShalwarKameeze made for me in Pakistan.
I’ve heard the most dangerous thing about this area is inadvertently ingesting water that wasn’t bottled, that you will spend the next week with the trots and building your dry heave skills.
Had to laugh, linked here from your 4% article. Half way through it seemed familiar and I realized it was the first article of yours I ever read; though I read it on Jim’s site at the time. Keep up the good work!
Thanks! This is still one of my favorites
:-)
I get your point – most people have truly garbled versions of reality based on sensationalistic headlines.
But as someone who lived for an extended time in Central America (with some amazing incredible generous people like the ones who you profiled), and whose in-laws fled Guatemala’s horrific violence, well… Let’s not be too simplistic. This is a place where corruption is notoriously rife (still), where (when I was there, granted 15 years ago) small men with enormous guns guarded many businesses in the cities, military choppers doing drug raids were often heard echoing over our remote mountain village (and remember: corruption – neither side was what I’d call ‘good guys’), and villagers whispered of families attacked during the nights.
I did not feel terribly safe in Central America, even as I learned so much and expanded my world-view and came to admire the heck out of the competent subsistence farmers with whom I lived.
In those days, I would have avoided Colombia due to all the violence and kidnappings, and gone to Mexico with little thought, but fortunately for that gorgeous country of Colombia, the tube of toothpaste has squeezed upwards, so the old Colombian violence has moved to Mexico. Now I would go to Colombia but not Mexico, even the supposedly safe places. Just not worth the risk. But I would gladly go to most any country in South America.
In all likelihood, we will be returning to Mexico this fall. Awesome place.
Please drop a line if you find yourself in Quintana Roo!
Nice post! All places have some challenges. It is a matter of being awere how to go around. If you come to Mexico City and need some tips, I will be glad to help you!
Unfortunately there are some many Trump-like Americans out there with these crazy preconceptions about every country that USA hasn’t invaded yet that is f… repugnant. Thank GCC for trying to change our image image in your country. We are also trying to make USA not being pictured as the bully country of the world but Trump is not making that easy.
Your tuk tuk story is brilliant and, at the same time, harrowing. Shocked that you made it out alive. I’ll stick to America, thanks. How’s Baltimore this time of year?