Let it Snow (photo courtesy of Wikimedia)
When we last left our budding early retiree wannabe, he was just a few years out of college clawing out from under student loan, car, and mortgage debt. Will he ever be able to recover from early financial missteps? Will he learn to use that brain for something besides remembering obscure Seinfeld and Fight Club quotes?
Let’s find out
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The snow was coming down harder, 12 inches so far and no sign of stopping.
The storm had come in ahead of schedule, and my coworkers and I were stuck at the office. News footage showed a never ending stream of cars stuck in ditches and horrific looking accidents
A friend had tried to leave earlier in the day and decided to turn around before even leaving the parking lot. It looked like we might be stuck here awhile
By 9 pm the snow had slowed, a total of 18 inches dumped on the region. Although the plows would continue to operate through the night, the main roadways were cleared and salted
Fueled by a late dinner of soda and vending machine snacks, I braved the drive home
My “normal” 30-40 minute drive took 90 minutes. The snow plow had done a wonderful job cleaning off the street, by depositing 4 feet of hard packed ice at the end of my driveway. 3 hours of chipping and shoveling and freezing and swearing later, I finally broke through enough to get my car off the street
It was then and there that I swore I would never again live in a snowy climate. Sadly, this was the only long lasting impression
Time to Move On
The following spring we received our bonus checks at work, a very generous 0.46% of pay.
At the same time, the job market for Engineers was heating up. This was 2000 after all, and the Internet companies in the Bay Area were paying outrageous salaries for people with experience. I had worked 8 years over the last 4 without taking a single vacation, so experience I had
To attract college graduates, our company was offering generous salaries. Even though I had been promoted and had respectable raises, these young punk kids were making up to 50% more than me. I talked with my manager. “Sorry, there is nothing we can do about it right now”
Consistent with previous behavior, my last day was on a Friday and I started a new job in a new city on Monday
Moving to Seattle
I turned down a couple job offers from California based companies. The cost of living was too high and taxes were insane. Even with a big increase in pay I would still lose on the deal
Instead I accepted an offer in the Seattle area, with a sign on bonus and a much higher salary of $85k.
During the interview, HR asked me what I was currently earning. I lied shamelessly
Dishonest? Certainly. Unethical? Maybe. Fair? Absolutely
The job also came with a great moving package, which included reimbursement of realtor fees to buy and sell a house (a mixed blessing)
The house sold quickly. To get exact numbers, I checked the property sale history on Zillow
April 1998: I bought it for $159,500
August 2000: I sold it for $178,000
Sept 2002: Sold for $210,000
2006: New Siding and Roof
2007: Kitchen updated
2008: New Carpet in Family Room and Basement
Sept 2008: Sold for $257,000
Dec 2013: Sold for $178,000 ($129k in 2000 Dollars)
The Old Homestead (photo from Zillow)
So much for Real Estate being a good investment. Although I walked away from the closing with a check for ~$20k, real profit was close to $0. When factoring in the cost of commute and cost of rent close to work, the price of a lawn mower and ladder, lost weekends… I definitely lost overall (But not as bad as the person that bought this property in 2008)
Lifestyle Inflation
The cost of living in Seattle was much higher than in the Midwest. With the allure of work paying realtor fees, I went house hunting and bought almost exactly the same house. It had the same number of bedrooms, the same square footage, and the same commute time… the main difference was the price of $292,500
Closing on my old house was on a Friday. I closed on the new house on Monday. To avoid PMI, I put down 20% which was every penny I had. I used credit cards to pay for food and gas until the first paycheck came in
Even at the closing, I knew I didn’t want the house. The momentum just carried everything, myself included.
Despite the higher pay, it seemed I had less money overall. The mortgage payment was much bigger. Food cost more. Many of my coworkers had made big bucks in stock options years earlier, and had more expensive lifestyles. Lunches out were a regular thing, and I did my best to fit in and build relationships
(I too had some shiny new stock options. 5 years later I was able to sell them for $3,000. $2,000, after taxes)
Disaster Strikes!
5 years out of college and things were looking pretty good. I was making a good income. My student loans were now paid off. I used the extra cash flow to max out the 401k.
Net worth broke $100k
And then BAM! The Internet bubble burst and my 401k value plummeted. Housing prices stagnated and two houses in my neighborhood went into foreclosure
And then BAM! The Big D cut net worth in half, and then some
I had married a girl I met in college. It was one of those things that… just happened. It was by far the most toxic self-defeating thing I’ve ever done
She was a few years older and all of her friends were getting married. She kept asking. And pressing. And arguing. And manipulating
Pressed into a corner, I exclaimed, “If we do get married, will you at least shut the f#$k up about it?!”
Yeah, we were off to a good start.
In one of our highlights, I had come home from college one night late after finishing up a lab and lab report. I was exhausted, and couldn’t keep my eyes open. She wanted to fight about something, anything
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now,” I slurred, as I lay down on the bed
Next thing I knew she was standing on the bed and kicking me in the head. Good times
Looking back, I don’t even recognize that young boy that was afraid of arguments, wanted to please everybody, and didn’t know how to say No. It takes two, and I was clearly nowhere near the Prince Charming that I am today
Sometime after we had gone our separate ways but before the State had finalized everything, I woke up one morning to find her standing in my bedroom and staring at me. She wanted money.
When I said no, she freaked out and started screaming and slamming doors. She knocked a big hole in a wall. Then she dialed 911 and said I was attacking her
The cops arrived, veins popping out of their necks in a rage. I was physically restrained in a not very friendly fashion. An hour of intense interrogation later, expressions of sympathy appeared on their faces. “I’m really sorry, if you want to press charges we can arrest her.” I changed the locks later that day
A few months later after everything was legally official, she called asking for money. Over the past few months she had spent everything, which was at least 2x what I had spent even while continuing to pay a mortgage on a house worth less than when I had bought it. I said no, and what followed was the longest stream of obscenities and threats one is ever likely to hear
Which reminds me of a good bad joke:
“Do you know why divorce is expensive?”
“Because it is worth it!”
I don’t wish divorce on anybody. It was an expensive life lesson, but much cheaper than staying married
(Winnie wants to send out a message to the past, “Thanks for setting the bar low”)
Darker Days
So there I was, 27 years old… emotionally damaged with a house I didn’t want and couldn’t sell, no cash, and few options
During times like these, it is probably not necessary to mention that work performance wasn’t at an all time high. I received an out of cycle evaluation from my manager, the first formal step in termination of employment. Per the terms of our employment agreement, if I was fired I would have to return the sign on bonus. Bankruptcy appeared to be in the near future
Could things get worse?
Come back next time for Episode 3 when our young naive aspiring early retiree hires a financial adviser
I mean this in the kindest, most friendly, platonically loving way but dude, the old you was such a fuck up! ;) Glad you grabbed life by the cojones and flipped that puppy around.
Moral(s) of the story: 1. don’t get married to a crazy psycho
2. If you do get married to a crazy psycho, keep your dukes up and divorce her ASAP (“sunk costs” being the operative economic phrase)
3. There’s always tomorrow to get back on track (since we know how the story ends as of today)
I like your take Justin, especially with #3. This is definitely not the story I expected to read, and very much looking forward to Episode 3.
I like that Justin called me a royal fuck up :)
But that’s why I shared it. If I was able to recover from my long list of missteps, then nearly anybody can
Yep, up until a few days ago I assumed you sort of had the perfect run up, like Justin seems to have had. It’s nice to see that someone can clearly succeed even after making some bad choices. .
Even with all of your clearly bad decisions, you still were doing good things as well (401k, paying off student loans) so I wouldn’t call it a royal fuck up….
It’s a journey, and the important part is starting, and then continuing.
Thou speaketh the truth sir
I went with the whole episode theme because looking back at that part of my life is a bit like watching some horrible TV drama, the kind where you yell at the screen, “What the hell are you doing you stupid idiot!?”
I bet. I had to double check that this was you telling about your past and not some reader case study. It’s a bit of a bildungsroman of the present day Jeremy.
I much prefer the modern day version. Writing this post was surprisingly challenging, digging through that old garbage. I had a few emails from people recently about divorce, so that motivated me to share that it isn’t the end of the world
While the success story is a lot more fun to share, the journey isn’t always easy and straight
Sharing this is great. It’s such a solid rebuttal to the “yeah, but your life went perfectly and I can’t ever retire early because A, B, and C” type of whinypants complaints.
I was being interviewed for a podcast this morning and a question came up about “what do you wish you could do differently?”. I didn’t really have anything major to overcome to hit FI and retire early, and so many others do. Although maybe in your case the first go round at marriage served as a catalyst to design your life like you want it, and you might have continued trudging through life in your old ways if the first wife would have been a little less nasty (the slowly boiled frog might just stay in the slightly too hot pot forever if if never burns really bad).
And you probably learned a lot more about what makes the perfect wife for round #2 of marriage (assuming getting Winnie knocked up means you guys are solid ;) ).
I had the same reaction as a I started the first post, I assumed it was going to be about someone else. Seeing this side of the story is very interesting.
I too, can’t imagine you being the guy you were pre-Winnie. But I think everyone has that one “bad” relationship (or, for a few friends, seem attracted to bad relationships).
Some rough learning experiences, man!
There was definitely a lot of hurt in that relationship, on both sides. I was no angel. Stuff happens
Life today is all rainbows and puppies though, so all is well.
Oh wow, that marriage sounds rough! So glad you navigated your way out of that one! Far too many people stay in terrible, non-affirming relationships just because they’re too scared/unmotivated/etc to leave. So, congrats to you for moving past that.
Definitely rough
But on the positive side, a lot of people have rough patches and set backs. It just meant starting afresh at Age 27
My sentiments exactly. Learning the hard way is still learning. =)
School of hard knocks
Wow what a story, that marriage sounds pretty terrible. I guess divorce was the right thing to do in that situation. I can see why you were not too motivated at your job. Can’t wait to read episode 3.
I would go to work and just not be able to focus. And then at home I couldn’t sleep, which then made the next day worse. Or at least that is what I remember
The story gets much more positive from here
This is why I never start watching a show until there is at least a full season out. I get anxious to see the next episode :)
I guess I will wait for part 3.
Cheers!
I promise not to be like Game of Thrones and drag it out for a decade
Well it wasn’t pretty but experience is the best teacher and I think you earned that A. Thanks for sharing and I’m looking forward to the next episode.
Thanks Sue. Definitely not pretty.
I would much rather learn from the mistakes of others, but in this case I wasn’t smart enough
It’s like reading a romantic manga. Winnie is going to come rescuing you, teach you to be the Prince Charming that you are today. I can totally see the love you have for Winnie in each subtle sentence you mentioned about Winnie. And I get the picture of how messy your ex was, a girl kicking her man in the head? Wow! Ehhehehe.
You are such a good writer, you should try to write the romantic novel, especially you get good backbone story from life experience.,
Yeah, Winnie is alright, I guess ;)
Thank you very much, Vivianne. I don’t think any romance novels are coming anytime soon, but I am trying to write a book
Quite a story. It may help explain why you didn’t seem that upset when the drunk man in Mexico took a swing at you (not sure which post that was). I really enjoy your writing and the large number of recent posts. Thanks for sharing your experiences – and the life lessons.
Thanks Jeff
That would be this one:
https://gocurrycracker.com/it-is-not-all-fun-and-roses/
I don’t get too bent out of shape about much, I’m pretty stoic. Although I have been accused of being jaded in my old age (probably true)
Wow thank you for sharing. Makes my little complaints sound trivial. Glad you “grabbed life by the cojones” as Justin so eloquently put it :)
Justin certainly has a silver tongue :)
That and my charming good looks helped me bag my own Winnie, too! The full neckbeard probably helped as well.
You know just a few posts ago I was thinking “boy Winnie sure is lucky to have such a smart husband”. That other woman didn’t know how good she could have had it. I am sure Winnie brings out the best in you. Great writing and this is good to see how with some focus you totally turned your life around.
Loved The part where Winnie said thanks for setting the bar so low.
Hey! Winnie is lucky to have such a smart husband! haha
Before I asked Winnie to marry me, I was having a conversation with a friend:
“My life is completely awesome, I love everything about it. I just love it more sharing it with Winnie”
Can’t wait for episode 3…don’t leave us hanging for too long! Thanks for sharing that personal story. Like Justin mentioned above, I think most assume that you were able to get to where you are by making all the right choices straight out of college. But it’s good to see that even with some obstacles, you can achieve early FI. I didn’t know you were divorced and assumed you were referring to Winnie when you said you got married but than described it as toxic and self-defeating…so I figured there was a twist in the story. Looking forward to hearing how it turns out…though I guess we can figure it out…still want to know the details though! haha
It’s like you’ve already read the book and know how it ends, but watching the movie can still be fun :)
Thanks for sharing your journey to success! Reminds me of the old saying:
“If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger”
It’s always easier to look back and recognize this proverb in action via 20/20 hind-sight than while were in the thick of it. The trick to remember is to keep this proverb in mind while were in the midst of challenging times!
I’ve been “fortunate” to put this to the test multiple times and it’s always proven true!
Cheers to the confidence and strength you’ve achieved to be able to dig it up and share with the world to help light the path!
Looking forward to the next episode!
“If you find you’re going through hell, keep going” is another good one
Winston Churchill maybe? Whoever it was was very wise
I think I dated your ex-wife. I’m still looking for my Winnie, and your story gives me hope.
Haha, sorry to hear that, but good to see you used the past tense
I’ll share the story of how Winnie and I met in a future post
Hey GCC,
Wow, did you turn your life around! I have a lot of respect for that, takes some courage to write down all your past “failures”.
I was thinking about a life lessons learned post, but all things considered, I don’t seem to have that much to complain about. Found (and married) my Winnie though, helps a lot.
Looking forward to part III. Keep up the great articles!
Thanks Mr FSF, and welcome to GCC :)
I agree, I don’t have that much to complain about either. If you have access to the internet and are reading blogs about early retirement, all things considered life is probably pretty good
A good partner with similar values is definitely a win
Wow! That is fascinating and takes courage to share that much detail. I’ve been following your blog for a while now to learn about the technical side of what you’ve done to retire so early. Knowing your full story makes it even more inspiring to see the things that you’ve overcome so quickly.
Just thank your lucky stars that the baby didn’t come until you got things in order!
Thanks EE!
As for the baby, one word: vasectomy
Jeremy, can we have a schedule for upcoming episodes for season 1 please :). I think it’s great you sharing this. one learn more from other’s mistakes than success.
New post up today :) No guarantees on the rest of this season’s episodes. There might be a mid season break depending on when GCCjr is born :)
That’s some good stuff right there and by good stuff I mean totally on the edge of insanity for some of it. Glad you made it out alive!
Wow, I just read this….this is crazy. Can’t wait for the next episode.
You really changed things around. I echo what another poster said….I found myself asking if this was your story or a reader case study.
It gives encouragement to others that situations can be turned around.
Oh, I can so relate. I didn’t have quite the wake up call you did. But having been through a divorce it wasn’t pretty and ours was fairly amicable. Good thing you found your wife! Love this series!
This episode certainly does humanize the blog writer, who at time seems to have figured it all out. My apologies, but it is heartening to read that you took some wrong turns, just like I did, but still managed to right your boat, just like I did. I imagine these bad experiences help you appreciate how good you have it now. Where would we all be without second chances?
I had no idea what you were talking about when you first mentioned “Big D”. Then I read the next paragraph. Then I remembered the folder that I have filed in my office, also labeled Big D. I swear I am not making this up.
All this makes me like you even more than I did before this post!
Thanks John! Sorry to hear that you ended up with a similar folder, but you did pick a cool label
I’m pretty sure the only thing I have figured out, is that I don’t have anything figured out. But hopefully I’m smart enough to only make new mistakes
Wow! Great story. For those of us who have gone through a divorce, we can all relate, sort of like sharing comradeship as a Marine in Vietnam or something similar. Wouldn’t wish it on anybody, but it is one of life’s great learning adventures. I spent five years after mine taking Transformational Workshops to get though all of the baggage we bring into our lives by time we are in our 20’s,30’s, or 40’s, etc.
Now I have a wonderful wife, married for the past 25 years, and love our years in retirement together. Life is good!
Divorce was definitely a difficult experience, but many years later just a road bump along the way. I’m glad it all worked out in the end! Congrats
Hi GCC,
Where were you in the Midwest at the time?
Chicago Land