Having a public image can be challenging. Having one based on falsehoods, even more so.
Some months ago on reddit, that bastion of truth and hope, an optimistic aspiring early retiree posted this question on the Financial Independence subreddit:
Is anyone here actually FIRE using only stock market investments (and not “faux-FIRE”)? Without managing rentals, doing part-time work, or blogging?
The subsequent discussion is actually quite good – and the poster is left convinced that it is indeed possible to retire to a life of leisure with a passive portfolio.
But of course there are always outliers, and nobody is ever 100% truly convinced. As proof, I offer the poster’s closing statement:
Alright thanks everyone, my doubts are sufficiently dissolved… FIRE is real and not just for FIRE bloggers. I believe! I still think GCC is a f*#ing liar though…
Confession is good for the soul, they say. So let me confess…
…
I too believe that early retirement is possible. I hope I can do it one day.
As our family has grown and our expenses increased, we have had to seek other income.
After Jr was born and we started to understand just how much kids really cost, I looked at getting a job in tech again. It turns out nobody wants to hire you when your skills have gone unused for several years.
Thus we have come to depend on blogging income. In turn, that has forced me to spend more time on research and content creation. I now spend more time working than when I was working – Those spreadsheets don’t make themselves.
Unable to go forward, and unable to go back, here we are – faux-FIRE, selling the dream.
So yeah… It’s all fake news. I’m a f*#ing liar.
What went wrong?
It’s hard to pinpoint any one thing that put our retirement off the rails.
Frustration with work, overconfidence in our desire and ability to remain frugal, and an abundance of naiveté were all contributing factors. We just stopped working too soon. But I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Without a job to provide a sense of purpose and a home to ground us, we became listless and unfocused. This led to poor decision making and overspending.
I think we also couldn’t admit to ourselves that we had made a mistake. I mean, what the hell were we doing bouncing around Europe with a toddler? Is this fun?
Instead we just kept telling ourselves everything was fine and we were living our dream. We lied to ourselves, we lied to our friends and family, and we lied to you.
If only random reddit people had called us out sooner :(
Now What?
It’s been so hard to admit this to myself, let alone to share it publicly. How could we screw this up with the benefit of one of the greatest bull stock markets of all time?
But it is what it is.
With child #2 on the way, we need income to be higher, more stable, and more predictable.
Hopefully I can do that with Go Curry Cracker, but if not…
Friends and coworkers from the past are now senior hiring managers and executives. I should figure out how to use LinkedIn again. I would like to connect with you professionally.
Call for Help
Were it only me, I would probably just tuck my tail between my legs and go live on a beach in Mexico or Honduras. But I have to think of the children, even though it shames me to ask for help.
There is a lot of great(?) content on this site for people planning to retire early – tax minimization, ACA optimization, travel hacking, geographic arbitrage opportunities, and more.
Please share Go Curry Cracker! with all of your friends and social media contacts. Learn from our mistakes! There are sharing links at the bottom of each post.
And please consider using the various affiliate links on this site when you are able. This provides us with much needed income at no additional cost to you.
From the latest GCC Business review, most affiliate revenue comes from:
- Credit cards – why pay for travel when you don’t have to? Maybe it will be possible again one day.
- Learn how to be a master travel hacker with our Award Travel Series
- Personal Capital – a free service for tracking your expenses and investments (read my review)
- Blog hosting – Everyone should blog, really. Plus, what else you gonna do in lockdown?
If by chance you plan to use those services in the coming months and years, using our links is very much appreciated!
Please. Think of the children.
—
Again, I’m so sorry for my dishonesty and deception. Living a lie has been so difficult, I hope you can forgive me.
Have a wonderful April 1st.
Jeremy
A f*#ing liar, abject failure, and unappreciated comedian
No Go Curry Cracker!
You got me for a minute! Glad to see you’ve kept your sense of humor through the global pandemic. Hope all is well with you guys, as well as possible, anyway. :)
Hope all is well with you too. Stay safe!
Whew! The Happy April First was a nice touch! 😊
It’s important to appreciate the little things
Oh dear, I’m afraid some people won’t get it…
one can hope
Haha that was great!!
Wish I was in Taiwan right now instead of the US where Trump administration let the COVID-19 get out of hand.
Life is fairly normal here right now and the opposite in the US. Stay safe!
You had me going for a minute! Thought you were confessing – love the sense of humor!
Haha.
You know this won’t age well when the dividends stop and your only source of income is the blog =)
Anyway if this pandemic is the end of the world at least its been a good ride!
Keep safe and happy fools day
just wait until dividends follow interest rates into negative territory :O
Yes, in times of stress all correlations go to 1. You should feel priveleged to own the shares of such good corporations. If you really loved holding them, you’d do it for free, or even less than free.
Reminds me of this, oil less than zero
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/04/01/business/oil-prices-crash-storage-space/index.html
What do you do when everything is negative… I suppose you sell your shares and get paid to buy oil??
In times like these I can at least be grateful that I’m not Alberta or North Dakota
When interest rates go negative… it’s mortgage time for profit!
Oil is now teetering on going negative – that is, supply > storage capacity. Maybe they’ll fly around empty planes just to burn-off fuel…?
Crazy times ahead. I feel better with 4-5yrs of cash.
Great post Jeremy!! And congrats on #2.
Maybe if you can figure out how to survive until everyone is more confident and the stock market rises again, you could do a Go Fund me page!🤣🤣
Ooh, that is a good idea! Maybe I need a Patreon too
So if you have had children when you were younger and therefore children who are grown, say they have now entered colleges and that college expenses are set aside for them, will you have enough for the retirement you had envisioned based on passive investment income?
What if we had so many children and lived in a shoe? Would we know what to do?
I’m crushed, dejected. I may just go to the Walmart and run around hugging strangers until I get sick. What’s the point of going on……..
Oh my God. My heart literally broke for a minute. Been following far too long and wanting to literally follow in 5 years. That took my breath away. Well done.
what will you wear?
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
Overhauls of course, without a shirt since it is springtime! They make me feel free.
Thong, gas mask and snorkel are my preferred method nowadays.
So…now that there is more volatility in the market than any of us Alice have ever known, what are your recommendations? During the sell-off, what companies are you buying, with the long game in mind?
VTI and VXUS
Simply outstanding. A cold smack in the face on April 1. So good.
At least March is over. That was awful.
That was a good one! You had me going until about half way through I started looking for the “just kidding” statement. So I hope you and your family are safely holed-up until this panic passes and things return to relatively normal.
We are about as safe as can be – Taiwan has done an incredible job. It’s impressive what can be done when the experts are allowed to manage things (the VP is an epidemiologist with experience from SARS.)
This strike out:
“There is a lot of great(?) content on this site for people planning to retire early”
made me laugh out loud.
Ditto!!
truth is the best humor :p
Oh my God, you TOTALLY got my. If I hadn’t read to the end… risky little game, there, GCC!
living on the edge (in Steven Tyler voice)
Reminds me of the time you almost convinced me that you bought a house.
It’s funny until it’s true
Jeremy, you are simply the greatest thing that ever lived. Period. The contest to determine the individual is now over…now, I will say that I suspected this from the outset, but I also confess that you had me with The last April Fools were you declared that you were buying a house. This time I knew and still I loved it. Game over.
ha! Sorry, this title has already been claimed by my wife, and she has politely informed me that my sense of humor is overrated.
You’re hilarious! Happy April 1st! Glad you’ve at least kept your sense of humor. :)
I heard April Fools Day was cancelled this year, but finding joy in the dark times is what keeps us human.
That was funny and well written to tug on emotional fools like me by talking about kids – not cool but funny :) …I think about making enough money to ensure my kids are set up for success and we retire comfortably.
Not Funny!!! I was so sucked in!
sorry not sorry
So very clever! I was about to send this to my kids along with Suze Oman’s views on FIRE! You got me! Even thou I’m anti FIRE, love your posts. Stay well.
I read this before realizing it was April 1st. Nasty good
Best. Compliment. Ever.
Considering the number of ads on this site, I almost believed you, until you claimed you needed a job to have a sense of purpose. Great April 1 column!
The ads give me purpose. Plus think of the children.
Damn! One of my portfolio companies is senior coders right now. I was selfishly holding my breath that this wasn’t April 1. 🤣
Sorry to disappoint – I’ll try harder next year lol
HA! Thanks for keeping April Fools going in the midst of this weird time.
You are evil, you had me for a second.
I thought something was up, FIRE flows through those veins. At least the ones not clogged with livin’ the good life. ;-).
Take care my friend.
Stay safe – Florida looks crazy right now.
Wow. I can’t believe you actually got me for a moment. Well done Jeremy.
Ya, we forgive ya, you can always move in with my Mother in Law in Chiayi, upstairs room is not in use.
Besides, its good to work… too much Taiwan Be-Doo, will just make you fat and lazy… oh, and lay off the Cho Dofu, and Bowdse..
Can you tell I miss Taiwan?
How could I refuse such a generous offer :p
Lots of good food here… had some pretty good burritos yesterday
Best April Fool’s set-up ever! Maybe tomorrow you can share which parts were actually true, hahaha. There’s speculation that this pandemic will kill the FIRE movement. I believe it will do the opposite. I have never been so glad to be FI and RE in my life. SO worth the effort. Thanks for carrying the banner!
true parts:
– somebody on reddit has trust issues
– having more money is better than not
You totally got me, Jeremy! Well done! I started explaining to Patricia and she was getting very alarmed so I had to tell her that it was April Fools.
Love your GREAT content and will continue to follow despite any naysayers and April Fools. Congrats on the littles! FIRE with kids does present challenges though traveling with them is priceless. We take our toddler everywhere (including most recently a 10-day scuba livaboard, it was awesome!) and will continue to do so after quarantine :)
Wow hardcore! I did a liveaboard on the Great Barrier Reef many years ago (2002 I think.) Amazing experience.
Bwahahaha you didn’t get me! I laughed all the way through, thanks for brightening my day!
Glad it helped! Thank you
Haha I totally thought this was an April Fools when I read the first few sentences. Good one!
I was totally freaked for a second. Then I remembered the house one and was literally so relieved. We believe in you and Fire. We think the FI community will thrive if only because we cherish frugality and simplicity.
Yeah it’s weird to think that people who save a lot will struggle. Especially when people are wondering how they will pay rent.
I knew fairly early on you must be making a funny, but it did remind me that the last time you shared expenses for the new apartment I remembered thinking they were high compared to what I pay for a little house in the Chicago burbs…LOL
Living large over here
Unfortunately MMM’s April fools posts have trained me too well – I love the call for help parts though, they helped sell it 😂
No worries, Jeremy…
…I’ll share my new market timing strategy I just revealed on my site with you.
The $$$ just rolls in.
Finally my prayers have been answered
Thanks for posting that. I was looking at the calendar and thinking OMG, it’s April Fool’s day. Time to check GCC! A fun little bit of diversion on my break. Now it’s back to work for me.
Stay safe! Thank you.
Nice subtle post. I was suspicious and then ” How could we screw this up with the benefit of one of the greatest bull stock markets of all time?” pushed me over the edge. Happy April 1st to you too!
Thanks!
When I was reading this post, I thought this is so uncharacteristic of GCC. He sounds so humble….Then it occurred to me as I continued to read that it was April Fool’s Day. And sure enough, when I got to the end, I saw that indeed it was an April Fool’s post. Thank God, all is right with the world!
hehe, this made me chuckle
Hey Jeremy, I just read the first few paragraphs and skipped over the rest and the comments. Feel free to send me your resume. I understand we’re hiring in our warehouses right now. Anything I can do to help you correct your terrible mistakes.
Thanks Andrew! I still have some dignity and can’t accept less than $5/hour.